The Funny Things They Say

Caleb: "When we go trick-or-treating, where will God be?"

Anderson (when he should be in bed): "My stomach is empty and my brain is full.... and that's not good for falling asleep."

Protein

I am always encouraging my boys to eat something that contains protein with their meals. This morning I was listing some 'protein options' for Anderson's breakfast. After a few suggestions, I summed up by saying, "pretty much anything that comes from an animal.... milk, cheese, eggs..." "And boogers!" Caleb adds. I'm not so sure about the protein content, but technically an animal by-product. Smart boy.

Be afraid... be very afraid.

When your children tape a bull's-eye to your chest and put on their helmets, you should be afraid... You should be very afraid. Chad was a good sport about being the sole target in this balloon fight (Anderson's idea- I know you are surprised).



I love these pictures because it sums up Chad's relationship with our boys. He is willing and excited to play anything with them. I'm glad that he has the energy to keep up with them. Somehow, it just doesn't seem likely that I would ever be willing to have a bull's-eye taped to my shirt. Thank heavens for Dad.

And, for your information, we don't require the boys to wear helmets for water balloon fights.  The helmets are part of their 'fighting uniform.'

A little unfair, don't you think?

The Ball Popper Incident

I was in the shower when Caleb's chubby, 3-year old arm whipped open the shower curtain. He eyed me up and down and asked in an incredulous tone, "what are you doing?"
"I'm taking a shower," I replied as I rolled my eyes because we have this same conversation every time I shower.

Caleb then pulls forward his other arm. On this arm, shoved up past his elbow, is the 'ball popper' toy. The ball popper, when used properly, uses a small vacuum engine to suck plastic balls in one end and then shoot them out the top. The balls land in a collection tray, wind down to the bottom, and are sucked back in. This is how it's suppose to work, anyway. In reality, I have only ever seen children shove cars, blocks, and hamsters down the top and then get their arms stuck while trying to get the items back out.

After a few tugs I realized he was good and stuck. So, I wrapped a towel around myself and fetched the cooking oil. Back in the bathroom, I was lubricating Caleb's arm with the oil when Anderson burst through the door doing a wild rendition of the potty dance. He managed to get his pants down and the seat up in time. And, his aim was mostly acurate until he noticed what we are doing. "Twist your arm, Caleb. Pull, Caleb, pull!" he shouted as pee splattered all over the walls.

I realized, at that moment, that this was one of those defining moments in motherhood. Me: dripping wet, shampoo still in my hair, and a towel wrapped around my body; Caleb: lathered in canola oil, elbow deep in the ball popper; and Anderson: pants down, pee flying everywhere, calling out encouragement.

The arm came out and I finished my shower. And, I must admit to you all that it wasn't until now that I remembered that I still need to wipe up the pee. Oops! Oh well...I think we did pretty well.

Easter

My boys like to get the maximum potential out of every holiday. They started talking about Easter weeks ago. Anderson keeps modifying his list of things to ask the Easter bunny for. I often find myself reminding him of things such as, "You know you don't get as much for Easter as you do for Christmas, right?" and "the Easter Bunny's basket isn't that big.... he can't carry that much stuff with him." Unfortunately, Anderson is going to be bitterly disappointed when he finds his Easter basket filled with plastic eggs and candy rather than the parrot, Lego sets, and ferrets (ferrets?!!!!) he is expecting.

Caleb fondly refers to the mythical Easter figure as "That Easter Guy." Example: "Mom, let's call That Easter Guy and ask him to bring us a puppy."

Here is a picture of the boys with our neighbor girl. In January, they set up a lemonade stand in the front yard. I tried to explain that January is not the ideal time for selling lemonade, but they kept insisting. So, I gave in. Sometimes you have to choose your battles.

Cleanliness: an important value.

Caleb: "Mom, I need a boob on."
Me: "What?"
Caleb: "A boob. I need a boob on."
Me: "A....bib?"
Caleb: "Yeah, a bib. I need a bib on."

Don't worry, Dad. It's funny.

Chad was hunched down putting groceries away in some of our lower cabinets. He felt someone rubbing his back with a towel and turned around to find that it was Caleb. Caleb's pants and underwear were down around his ankles. Chad was quite alarmed (I would be too!).


"What are you doing?" Chad asked.

"I'm wiping pee off your back, Dad" says Caleb, in a matter of fact tone.

"What!?" exclaims Chad.

"Don't worry, dad. It's funny." replies Caleb.

Anderson and I laughed so hard that we almost peed our pants.



As I was lying down with Anderson the other night he said, "Mom, did you hear that noise?"

  "What noise?" I asked.

"I think it is the Valentine Bunny coming to give us something."

"It's the Easter Bunny," I told him, "no one comes for Valentines Day."

"They do too, mom. Maybe he just hasn't come for you because you haven't been good enough."